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I’ve been called dysthymia, bipolar, majorly depressed, and a sufferer of generalized anxiety disorder. I’ve been told I have a learning disorder, a sleeping disorder, social anxiety, an addictive/obsessive/compulsive personality. I’ve been called borderline manic, sadistic, masochistic, even narcissistic, and I used to be hypoglycemic.

I don’t know what all of this means. It’s all just words. I don’t really care anymore, and that’s dangerous.

They wanted to give me shock treatments when I was twenty-four. They wanted to electrocute my brain to relieve my depression. I said no. If they had tagged the right label on my chart, they could have forced me. Labels do scare me much.  They don’t mean anything; they still matter. That fucking sucks.

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