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The last day at my job will be the hardest. It’s tomorrow. I don’t want to burn any bridges. However, there are a few motherfuckers who I’d really like to rip to shreds. I love to assault people with honesty. I love to tell them exactly what I see in them. Most of my co-workers are sycophantic idiots with very little talent for anything. They found a niche and they are hiding out in it. It’s a pathetic thing to see.
The men are especially ridiculous. I’ve worked with all kinds of men over the years. There was the gay man who pretended to be straight by dating lesbians who were just as self-denying. There was the gay guy who was open about it, but wished so badly that he wasn’t gay. I even knew a gay guy who got married to convince himself that he wasn’t gay. He used to tell me stories about the most hateful arguments. But mostly I’ve worked with straight men that got married and then wished they hadn’t. I’ve worked with hundreds of men who couldn’t get laid, ever, no matter what they did. And then there was always me.
I am the straight who got married and wished he hadn’t, so I left. I gave my ex wife-everything. I lived like a pauper for my freedom. I worked in a deli for twenty-five dollars a day. I rented a room from my cousin. I spent all my free time reading and fucking my way through several lovers. It was amazing. I was living the dream. I was free to do anything.
And I still am. I flaunt that fact often. I live with a much younger woman. She is a hot piece of ass, and an intellectual. She likes to share women with me.
So, in conclusion, on my last day of employment, I’d like to say a few things. I hope you enjoy your fraudulent ending — your happily ever after thing. Go for it. But sorry, your bullshit worldview is not for me.
I hope you enjoy your rules and your morals and your boredom. Man, you fuckers are boring. Fuck that shit. I want a life that’s interesting. I want experience.
I’d rather work as a maintenance man in a basement, and read and write and study. In fact, that’s just exactly what I’m going to do. I’m tired of trying to fit your mold.
I’m sure you think that’s a funny image — me as a janitor. I’m sure you’ll all be laughing at me. And that’s cool. Do whatever makes you “happy.” But here’s the thing. I don’t give a fuck what you assholes think. You can all kiss my dick.
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Metanarrative