WHEN I was in my twenties, I became a hermit. I isolated more and more. I loved being alone. The silence was mesmerizing, locked behind my walls, the safety so soothing. I could breath again. My hands stopped shaking. My mind was thinking straight for the first time in years. I loved it. I wanted more. I wanted much more. I wanted more time away from all of you. Alone. Alone. Alone. Safe. Peaceful. Controllable. Quiet. I became backwoods leper that nobody talked about. I was that weird guy at the office.

I’m over it. I’m here to tell you my stories, and seduce your daughters.

Signed Yours in Marijuana Smoke,

Tom Hardie

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