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I’m trying to dig deeper. I’m trying to understand my mind on a more fundamental level. I am trying to discover the foundation of my thoughts. I’m trying to feel correct in my body. I’m trying to feel at peace with my thoughts–all of them, beautiful and grotesque. I’m trying to understand the appropriateness of my existence. I’m trying to interrogate every voice of self-doubt in my head. I’m trying to debate and disprove them all. I’m trying to understand–to feel in my gut, to believe that I am qualified to be a human being, simply because I was born. I’m trying. I’m trying. I’m trying, I said! Get off my fucking back!
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Darling, stop trying so hard. Just listen to the ocean. Try being less cynical. The world doesn’t make sense and you don’t make sense. Hell not even I, the flatness I am, make sense. I find it easier and more enjoyable to go with the flow. As Lao Tzu says “Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” So I figure you ought to be more like water. I have a few intelligent things to say sometimes. Rare, but they’re there. Now pardon me, I have a cue coming up. Yes I’m blogging during a show. I have to go on and sing “The Man on the Moon is a Lady” from Mame. Not sure how it relates, but think about it. Who knows maybe you’re secretly on the moon…and a lady!